she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Houston, we have a squirter
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
