operation harelip BJ is a go
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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