just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
