I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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