I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
