I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
