The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
