I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
