I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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