She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
