Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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