I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
