And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
