All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
