I love black thongs
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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