i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
