So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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