ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize