So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
love makes seman taste better
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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