Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
