if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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