why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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