Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
