I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize