i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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