I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
