covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
