I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
