I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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