rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
