im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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