3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize