dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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