Moan for me like Helen Keller
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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