Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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