I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
