No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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