im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
