is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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