So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
