clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
