trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
