we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
