OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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