how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
