Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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