He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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