I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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