don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize