no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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