i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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