had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
