I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
