upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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