i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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